6 Rules to watch a movie

Calling me a movie buff would be an understatement. I am a movie fanatic.
I am one of those weirdos that watch at least 3 movies a week (used to clock one movie a day).
I watch all kinds of shit…from Kurosawa to S.J.Suryah. Sometimes, for me, the line between life and a movie blurs.
That said, here are 6 rules if you want to watch a movie with me.

1. Be prepared to watch the movie from the censor certificate to “The End”. Stay off the remote if you are one of those that fast forward the credits. I love to watch the credits. I fancy myself as future filmmaker and I believe I am making contacts.
2. If you have watched the movie before, I would prefer it if your mouth is duct-taped. I hate it when you go “Now just watch this scene…it is going to blow you off”. There would be a homicide involved if you reveal the ending. Why do I say this with such gusto? I used to be one of those idiots and it suddenly hit home when someone else did it to me. So, there.
3. I want you to give your complete attention when you watch the movie. I don’t like it if you take your eyes of the screen to look at your watch or your popcorn. I get very hurt when you miss a scene, something that the director has put his soul into. For some strange reason, I consider it a personal insult. Beware if I have watched the movie before. Because, I will be watching YOU and you better concentrate.
4. Be prepared for some expert comments from me about the direction, music, editing, acting etc throughout the course of the movie. This is a one-way street. YOU keep quiet…remember point #2.
5. I immerse myself into the movie experience…meaning; you are likely to hear hoots of laughter or see tears streaming down my face. I get very animated. My advice to you, ignore me.
6. After the movie ends, I love to take the movie apart. I expect you to allocate some time for this exercise. It could be an hour or several days depending on the movie

Actually, all this may sound excessive. It is not.
Imagine your fate if you were to join me watch a movie that I made.